


Kiss the Boys

by FallingLikeThis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, And I don't mean Harry Potter fans, Angst, Bottom Louis, Boys Kissing, Frat Boy Harry, Frat Boy Liam, Here Be Potheads, Homophobic Language, I don't know if fratboys actually smoke this much weed but, I mean it's in the title, Louis gets a little triggered by it, M/M, Masturbation, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Top Harry, Voyeurism, also Harry kisses Niall, and Bressie, like a lot of it, one use of the word 'cunt' but not in a sexual way, perceived infidelity, sorry but if you like the angst there's plenty of that, they watch each other masturbate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:51:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9562124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis
Summary: “Being able to blatantly kiss pretty boys out in the open is my favorite part of Pride,” Harry says without preamble, leaning into Louis’ space, inviting pink lips quirking up as they get closer to him. “You up for it?”“Um,” Louis glances at Zayn for help. He’d thought for sure after the way he’d just seen Zayn and Harry kissing, there had to be something more going on there. The last thing Louis expects to see on Zayn’s face is a knowing grin.Harry leans closer and for a split-second, Louis wants to meet him halfway but then he thinks better of it. He doesn’t know the landscape here and in just a couple of weeks living with him, he’s already learned that Zayn is really bad about holding his feelings in. He doesn’t want to risk stepping on the toes of his closest friend here at Uni. So, at the last second, Louis raises his empty hand and covers Harry’s mouth before the boy can complete his mission.“Sorry, Curly,” Louis says jokingly, “I just don’t know where that mouth has been.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [larrysbeanies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrysbeanies/gifts).



> To larrysbeanies, this is obviously a pinch hit and I'm sorry it's so short but I really hope you like it.
> 
> Thank you to my beta who shall remain nameless for the time being. Also, I want to thank a friend of mine that told me what their first time at Pride was like and thus inspired the start of this fic.
> 
> And thank **you** so so much for reading this if you choose to.

 

**Kiss the Boys**

 

Louis blinks his eyes and looks around, overwhelmed by the sea of rainbows that surround him. They’re on people’s shirts, on faces painted over wide smiles, on flags being waved in the air. He’d always known Pride was a beautiful thing, but being here at the University Pride Rally is so far beyond anything he could have imagined. All of these people are part of the LGBTQIA community or allies of people who are and the sheer number of bodies marching down the street, holding hands and spreading messages of love and acceptance are enough to make his heart flutter in his chest. It’s amazing what Louis’ witnessing here and he’s so glad that he let his roommates talk him into coming. He’d been nervous about it at first, nerves swimming in anxious loops in his belly before they’d left their house. Coming out to your family and friends, people you trust beyond a shadow of a doubt, is one thing. Telling your new roomies and, subsequently, your entire university is another thing entirely. If Zayn hadn’t come out to Louis first, Louis would probably still be sitting in his room right now, lonely and wishing he’d had the courage to come. And Louis is so grateful that he’s got such cool roommates that encourage him to unapologetically be who he is because Louis’ never actually felt as proud as he does right now.

“Hey, there’s Harry!” Niall shouts over the noise of hundreds of chatting people, pointing someone out to Zayn and laughing, loud and carefree at the spectacle he’s staring at.

Louis’ gaze follows the direction of Niall’s stretched arm and he sees Bressie, his other roommate, being kissed rather fervently by a bloke in a backwards Green Bay Packer’s cap. Louis’ eyes widen at the sight and his shoulders tense with a sudden feeling of apprehension because while Bressie had told him he subscribes to the “Love is Love” school of thought, he’d also mentioned that he identifies as heterosexual himself. Louis’ unease is short-lived, however, when Bressie simply pushes the boy away with a laugh, saying something to him that Louis isn’t close enough to hear.

The boy laughs back, turning away from Bressie with a wave and, _good lord_ , this boy is beautiful. Louis’ eyes trail over his body taking in his tanned legs in the jean shorts he’s wearing, the green shirt stretched taut over a well-defined chest, the smug quirk of his lips and the way his hair curls over his ears where it sticks out of his cap. 

“Niall! Zayn!” He calls, rushing over to them and immediately smacking a kiss to Niall’s lips before turning to Zayn and drawing him in for a kiss of his own with a hand to the back of his neck. Zayn’s kiss isn’t nearly as short or chaste as Niall’s had been. Louis can clearly see Harry’s tongue dipping into Zayn’s mouth as Niall laughs beside them.

_‘What the fuck?’_ Louis mouths to Niall, gesturing to the two boys between them that seem determined to devour each other right here in the middle of the street. Niall simply shrugs, smile still in place as though this isn’t an uncommon occurrence.

Eventually, the two boys have to come up for air and they break apart from each other, Zayn looking a bit dazed and Harry grinning smugly again, like he’s perfectly aware of the effect he has on people.

“Happy Pride,” Harry says, smacking Zayn’s cheek lightly and bringing his eyes back into focus.

Zayn finally smirks back, “Happy Pride.”

Louis looks between them, wondering at the sexual tension in their body language. It’s there, this loose, casual sense of attraction and Louis is struck by how much he envies it. He doesn’t have long to dwell on his feelings before Harry’s turning his smile on _him_.

“Hi,” Harry’s cheeks dimple as he looks Louis up and down, biting his bottom lip and seemingly enjoying what he sees. “I’m Harry,” he says, sticking out his hand for Louis to shake.

“Louis,” he answers, shaking Harry’s hand. It’s warmer than he’d expected considering the chill in the August air and Harry doesn’t let go immediately either, tugging Louis a little closer after a good twenty seconds of holding his hand.

“Being able to blatantly kiss pretty boys out in the open is my favorite part of Pride,” Harry says without preamble, leaning into Louis’ space, inviting pink lips quirking up as they get closer to him. “You up for it?”

“Um,” Louis glances at Zayn for help. He’d thought for sure after the way he’d just seen Zayn and Harry kissing, there had to be something more going on there. The last thing Louis expects to see on Zayn’s face is a knowing grin.

Harry leans closer and for a split-second, Louis wants to meet him halfway but then he thinks better of it. He doesn’t know the landscape here and in just a couple of weeks living with him, he’s already learned that Zayn is really bad about holding his feelings in. He doesn’t want to risk stepping on the toes of his closest friend here at Uni. So, at the last second, Louis raises his empty hand and covers Harry’s mouth before the boy can complete his mission.

“Sorry, Curly,” Louis says jokingly, “I just don’t know where that mouth has been.”

Harry’s lips may be covered but Louis breathes a little easier when he sees Harry’s eyes crinkle at the sides, a spark of amusement in their jade-coloured depths. One of Harry’s hands reaches up to slowly pull Louis’ away from his mouth.

“Suit yourself,” Harry says with a careless shrug, but Louis doesn’t miss the way Harry’s eyes dart down to his lips like maybe he’s sorry he’s lost out on the chance to taste them. He just smirks though and leans around to Louis’ ear where he whispers, “ _You don’t know what you’re missing_.”

Harry’s voice sounds like absolute sex when he whispers that velvety phrase into Louis’ ear and Louis feels something tremble deep down in his very core.

Harry backs away to check the reaction on Louis’ face, grin doubling in size when he finds exactly the reaction he was hoping for.

Louis knows he probably looks absolutely mental, staring blank-faced back at him, too turned on to let anything actually show on his face.

Harry winks and tilts forward to press his lips lightly to Louis’ cheek. “Happy Pride, Louis.”

Louis denies it for a long time afterward, but that’s the first time that he regrets not kissing Harry Styles.

 

~@~

 

Harry just kind of starts showing up at their house after that. It’s usually sometime after supper and when Louis opens the door he’s always wearing that backwards cap and a delighted grin and Louis’ heart skips.

“Hi, Louis,” Harry greets and it shouldn’t but the way Harry’s lips and his voice form around Louis’ name feels like a caress.

“Hey, Harry,” Louis answers trying not to feel breathless at the sensation, stepping back from the door and gesturing for Harry to come inside.

Harry steps into the house, turning to look at Louis as he passes, his eyes flicking down to Louis’ lips each and every time. But then he faces front as he walks in to greet Zayn, sometimes Niall or Bressie if they’re in, and throws himself down onto their sofa.

Nothing is certain after that, but that’s how it always starts. Louis will answer the door, Harry will flip his world upside down, and then he’ll act as though nothing happened as he moves on with his night.

Most nights, someone will put on a record and Zayn will fire up a bowl and he and Harry will get high. Sometimes Niall and Louis join them, though Bressie always turns them down because he’s on an athletic scholarship and there’s the occasional “random” drug test that he doesn’t want to fail should they actually catch him by surprise.

Harry is funny, Louis’ learned, especially when he’s high because that’s when he’s not really trying. It’s cute when he’ll catch a pun he hadn’t meant to say and proceeds to laugh at himself until tears are in his eyes. Zayn just lounges in his chair and watches Harry fondly and Louis’ heart hurts a little.

“We should go out sometime,” Harry says, suddenly sobering up a bit.

“Who?” Louis asks, eyebrow raised because there are four of them getting high tonight and he’s not sure which one of them Harry’s talking to. He rarely is. Harry seems to expect everyone to just follow his train of thought when he’s high even when he hasn’t said anything aloud.

“All of us,” Harry answers, looking at Louis like the answer was an obvious one. “We always just sit around in your living room and don’t really do anything.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Zayn drawls lazily. Louis’ pretty sure sitting around the house getting high is Zayn’s favorite thing to do.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Harry parrots back, agreeing with him. “But we’re throwing a party at the Delta Lambda Phi house Friday. You should all come.”

“Sounds sick,” Zayn nods, eyes heavy-lidded.

“I’m in,” Niall agrees taking another hit before passing the bowl back to Harry.

“What about you, Lou?” Harry asks watching Louis intently and ignoring the bowl in his hands. Everything Harry does is intense when he’s high. His stare is intense, the way he licks his lips is intense, the way he says Louis’ name. Or maybe that’s just when Louis is high.

Louis shrugs, feeling ill at ease at just the idea of going to a frat party. “Frat parties aren’t really my scene.”

“What’s wrong with frat parties?” Harry pouts, taking offense.

Louis tenses up. His first and only frat party was an absolute disaster. It was his first week on campus. Louis had sparked a tentative friendship with a bloke named Stan who’d wanted to go to this party one of the frats was throwing as a welcome/back to school thing. So, Louis had gone with him because that’s what you do when you’re starting a friendship; you don’t let your new friends go to parties alone. Only the guys throwing the party were a bunch of dudebro dickheads, throwing around words like “fag” and “queer” like it was some kind of hilarious joke to call each other names that Louis had been called his whole life. Louis knows Harry isn’t like that, but he’s not comfortable possibly putting himself in that kind of situation again. “I’m just not really into parties,” Louis tries to rephrase.

Harry watches him and Louis feels uncomfortable under the scrutiny but feels an immediate sense of relief when instead of poking at his statement, Harry looks away. “Okay,” he says quietly, letting the subject drop.

Louis excuses himself after a few minutes of idle chatter. There’s a tension in the room that wasn’t there before and he’s pretty sure that he’s the cause of it. So, he tells them he’s tired and goes to the loo to get ready for bed. After he’s washed his face and brushed his teeth, Louis pads out to the kitchen on bare feet to get himself a glass of water. For some reason it tastes different coming from the bathroom sink so he always gets his water from the kitchen. But, once he’s got his glass in hand, a noise from the living room makes him turn around.

Apparently Niall begged off for the night too because it’s just Harry and Zayn in there now. Making out. Louis _knew_ there was something going on between them. He rolls his eyes at himself for hoping differently, telling himself the tickle in his throat is because he hasn’t had his water yet.

Louis gets his water as loudly as possible and turns around again expectantly.

Zayn and Harry haven’t sheepishly broken apart like he’d assumed they would. They haven’t broken apart at all. But Harry is staring at him over Zayn’s shoulder as they kiss each other hungrily. There’s something in his eyes that Louis can’t quite determine. Something fierce and unrepentant that makes Louis feel shaky all over. And that’s how Louis knows that the crush he’s developing on the curly-haired fratboy is very, very bad.

 

~@~

 

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Bressie assures Louis even as he’s pulling on a jacket. It’s one that’s been left at the house so many times it might as well be theirs anyway. Louis is fairly certain it’s actually Harry’s but _oh, well_. It’s Louis’ for now.

“Don’t be silly,” Louis tells him, pulling a dark green beanie from the pocket of the jean jacket and yanking it down over his hair. It’s September now and it’s starting to get a little on the chilly side out. “I’m not going to make you go alone.”

Bressie sighs but gives in without further comment and wraps his arm around Louis’ when he offers it before they walk out the door.

Louis knows Bressie wasn’t originally planning to go to this party but when Niall had texted that the girl from his Comp. Lit. class was there, Bressie had changed his mind. When he’d told Louis he wanted to go but that he was a little nervous because he’s not really good at socializing, Louis had insisted on going with him. It’s obvious that Bressie really likes this girl, so Louis’ hoping that just knowing his friends are there rooting for him will bolster his confidence. And with Louis going, if it doesn’t work out with the girl, he’ll be there to talk to Bressie or walk him back home. He’ll have someone who’s there specifically for him so that he doesn’t have to worry about ruining Zayn or Niall’s night if things don’t go his way.

It’s a short walk to the Delta Lambda Phi house, maybe ten minutes, and they’re quiet most of the way.

 “So if you talk to her and things are going well,” Louis says, breaking the silence when the house comes into view, “you’ll have to give me a signal so that I know not to ruin it for you.”

Bressie laughs easily, like he’s not trembling a little with nerves. Louis can feel them. “Maybe a thumbs up?”

“Perfect,” Louis smiles. “And if you’re going down in flames?”

“Yeah, you won’t need a signal for that one,” Bressie flushes at the thought of failing. “I’ll probably come and ask you to walk me back home.”

“I don’t think it will come to that,” Louis assures him. “If she doesn’t like you, she doesn’t deserve you.”

Bressie laughs again with a shake of his head. “Thanks, mum.”

“Oi!” Louis scowls playfully, pushing Bressie in front of him and into the open door of the house. “Don’t forget to signal.”

“Hey, Lou,” Bressie pauses, grabbing Louis’ wrist and holding it for a second. “You’re a good friend. I’m glad your mine.”

Louis smiles, tugging his wrist away before the moment can get too soppy. “You’re not allowed to get weepy before you’ve even had anything to drink,” he quips lightly to cover the heavy feeling of affection in his chest.

Bressie scoffs with a good-natured laugh and turns to go find his girl. Louis follows him into the house and watches for him, waiting for his signal.

 

~@~

 

Louis really should have left after he got the thumbs up from Bressie. But he didn’t, so now he’s standing here, a bit tipsy as he leans back against the wall and smiles up at Harry. Harry has a drink in one hand, the other on the wall next to Louis’ head as he leans into his space, and Louis feels guilty for liking it so much.

_Where is Zayn?_ He wonders a little desperately.

“I thought you weren’t coming,” Harry states. The inflection isn’t there to turn it into a question but Louis knows it is one.

“Bressie decided he wanted to come, so I came with him. For moral support,” Louis explains.

Harry grins down at him. “He needs moral support to get drunk and dance?”

“I mean, I’ve seen you dance, Curly,” Louis sasses. “Are you saying _you don’t_?”

It’s true. Sometimes when Harry’s high and whatever record they’re playing has a song that Harry really likes, he’ll get up and dance to it. Usually alone because Zayn doesn’t dance and Niall just stands there and laughs. Louis would dance with him, but Harry’s never asked. It doesn’t really matter, Louis prefers to watch anyway. Because Harry’s a terrible dancer, but he has such an easy confidence and his limbs get all loose and flowy that Louis can’t really take his eyes off of him.

“ _Mean_ ,” Harry chides lightly, but he’s still smiling like maybe he likes it when Louis teases him. He leans in a little more and flurries erupt in Louis’ stomach. “Nice jacket,” his eyes flick down to his own jacket on Louis’ shoulders and then up to Louis’ lips and Louis feels a little like he’s drowning in waves of _want_ that he’s not entirely certain are just coming from him _._

“Where is Zayn?” Louis asks aloud this time before Harry can get any closer, peering over the taller boy’s hunched shoulder to try and locate his friend.

Harry’s eyes lose their shimmer and he backs away, apparently realizing how close he was getting to Louis and what that must have looked like. He turns to look for Zayn as well.

Louis finally finds him. He’s sitting on the arm of a chair in the corner of the room, laughing along to something one of Harry’s frat brothers is saying. Louis thinks the bloke’s name is Liam but he hasn’t really met him properly so he’s not sure. “There he is,” Louis points out, like Harry was the one looking for him in the first place.

“Yeah,” Harry says following the line of Louis’ arm to the corner of the room. He doesn’t make a move towards Zayn though, face clouding a little as he informs Louis that he’s going to get another drink.

Louis watches Harry stalk into the kitchen, wondering what’s wrong until he looks back at Zayn and realizes how cozy he looks over there with Liam. Louis rolls his eyes and curses himself for causing trouble. Especially when he didn’t even mean to.

Of course, it seems that Harry and Zayn are pretty good at getting over their problems when fifteen minutes later, Louis stumbles upon them furiously making out in the bathroom.

Seriously, why does Louis always fall for the wrong people?

 

~@~

 

Louis’ started avoiding Harry. When he shows up to smoke with Zayn, Louis makes himself scarce. He can’t casually hang out with Harry when his feelings are so out of control. Harry belongs with Zayn and Louis needs to accept that. Maybe that’s why it’s such a surprise when Louis stumbles into the living room after getting a late night glass of water and finds Harry alone on their sofa.

He’s lying there spread out on their sofa, head resting on the arm as he stares up at the ceiling. His usual snapback is on the floor, peaking out behind the arm of the sofa like it had fallen off and Harry just couldn’t be bothered to retrieve it. He looks good without it, Louis thinks. His curls are cute and soft-looking. Slowly, he raises a joint to his lips, holding in the smoke as he lifts his head to look at Louis. He doesn’t speak when he lets it go, smoke billowing in the air, swirling into shapes that would normally mesmerize Louis if he were high too.

Louis stands there awkwardly. He feels frozen in place, sort of like only some kind of acknowledgement from the other boy will unfreeze him.

“Zayn left,” Harry says eventually, letting his head fall back onto the arm of the sofa.

“Where’d he go?” Louis asks, feet unsticking from the floor as he moves to sit next to Harry’s feet on the other arm of the sofa.

A shrug of his shoulders is Harry’s only answer as he takes another hit off the joint.

Harry doesn’t say anything else and Louis is torn between going back to his room and staying so that Harry isn’t alone. Of course, his heart’s always been just a bit louder than his brain at times like this, so he stays.

“Did you have a fight or something?” Louis wonders, staring at the one curl that’s resting on Harry’s forehead. His fingers feel a desperate urge to reach out and push it back into place. He curls his hand into a fist to prevent that.

“Ha!” Harry barks out a bitter laugh. “Did _Zayn and I_ have a fight?” He repeats in disbelief, pupil-blown eyes staring back at Louis. He scoffs, shaking his head. “No,” he answers, pulling his feet from their resting place to plant them on the floor as he sits up. “ _Zayn_ and I are fine.” He picks up his cap and puts it back on, carefully putting out the joint in the ashtray on the coffee table and leaving it on the side so that someone can finish it later. When he’s done he stands, looking at Louis sadly for a moment before shaking his head again. “Later, Louis.”

Louis watches his back as Harry makes his way to the front door, sees the way he pauses when he reaches it – hand on the doorknob– before pulling it open and walking out.

Louis sits, dumbfounded, staring at the door until his eyes start to water. He blinks, pushes himself up from the sofa and, with one last questioning glance at the front door, goes back to bed.

A deep ache in the center of his chest keeps him from getting any sleep.

 

~@~

 

Louis continues to find Harry getting high alone on their sofa, always listening to angsty shit on the record player. Niall and Bressie have this epic bromance going on, so they’re always off doing shit together and who the fuck knows where Zayn is disappearing to. Louis has no idea why Harry keeps showing up at their house to smoke when there’s no one else there to join him. Surely, there are plenty of guys to smoke with at the fraternity house. But instead of asking, Louis takes pity on him.

“Hey, Curly,” he says quietly as he sits on the arm of the sofa again. He’s not sure if his presence will be appreciated or not, especially after what happened last time.

Harry’s lips turn up on one side as he blinks at Louis, their last encounter seemingly forgotten. “Hey, Lou.”

“Care for some company?” Louis asks carefully, just to be sure he’s not intruding.

“Company would be nice,” Harry grins pleasantly, moving his legs from their usual sprawled out position so that Louis can sit his arse on an actual cushion. He pats the seat just to be sure Louis got the message and Louis moves to sit closer to him.

They smoke in silence for a while and it’s really nice. There’s no tension. There’s just smoke and quiet companionship. After a while, Louis forgets why he was so afraid of this.

“How’ve you been, Louis?” Harry asks, lighting another joint when they finish the first one. There’s a baggie of them next to his familiar Green Bay cap on the coffee table. His eyes go round with sadness as he looks Louis over like he hasn’t seen him in ages. “It’s been too quiet around here lately.”

“I’m good, I think,” Louis answers, taking the spliff when it’s offered and bringing it up but not putting his lips on it yet. “Been busy with classwork.” It’s both a truth and a lie. Louis only recently started studying with any kind of dedication when it was too hard to convince himself to stay away from Harry otherwise. And that obviously worked out so well considering where he is right now. But the way Harry’s eyes light up, the way his dimples indent his cheeks when he hears a decent excuse for Louis’ sudden disappearance, seriously makes the lie worth it. “What about you, Harry? How have you been?” Louis says, finally taking a toke from the joint.

“Lonely,” Harry says, eyelashes fluttering on his cheeks as he breathes shakily, one hand suddenly clutching the leg of his black, holey jeans. “Horny as fuck.”

Louis chokes on the smoke he was holding in, eyes watering as he coughs and beats at his chest with a fist to clear his lungs and throat of any lingering smoke. “What?”

Harry’s smirking at him when Louis’ eyes clear enough to see more than a watery blur. “Are you telling me that you _never_ get a little randy when you’re high? Because if you are, then you’re lying.”

“Oh, are you the expert, now?” Louis asks, bending toward the table to let the joint rest in the ashtray. His lungs could use a few minutes to recover.

“Zayn does,” Harry says, staring at Louis in that intense way he has.

Louis’ not sure if that stare picks up on the way he’s bristles at the statement or not.

“I’m not Zayn, am I?” If Harry didn’t pick up on it before, Louis’ tone of voice certainly gives him away.

Harry doesn’t really react to the icy tone, or the way Louis sits, shoulders tense, next to him on the sofa other than to pick up the joint again and wave him closer.

“C’mere,” he says, moving closer to Louis when Louis doesn’t obey. “It’ll be easier like this.”

Louis watches as Harry takes a long, slow toke from the joint and sits it down again. He reaches out to cup Louis’ jaw, his touch so delicate, and Louis finds himself closing his eyes and opening his mouth to accept the smoke Harry breathes into him with no resistance. It is easier. It’s suddenly so much easier to be touched by Harry than not to, to breathe the smoke into his lungs and let it swirl around for a few seconds before letting it free again. He feels Harry’s forehead press against his own, hands still holding his face and it would be so easy to just lean forward. To kiss the taste of smoke from Harry’s mouth, to let these feelings burst from the dam he’s kept them behind for all this time.

“Louis.”

There it is, the caress in the way Harry says his name. It’s like the lightest, most sensual touch and there’s just a hint of desperation in it. Louis knows how that feels. Because he wants Harry so very badly.

Harry’s thumb strokes lightly over Louis’ bottom lip and Louis raises his chin, pushing his mouth against the pad of Harry’s thumb, wishing it was Harry’s mouth instead.

“ _Louis_.”

He almost gives in to Harry’s pleading. He’s so close. But the second he feels Harry’s breath on his lips, an image of Zayn flashes through his mind and he pulls back, breaking Harry’s hold on him.

Louis’ eyes open to find Harry staring at him like he’s just had a bucket of water dumped over his head.

He takes a deep breath and leans back against the back of the sofa, running a hand through his curls and laughs at himself. “I’m such a fucking masochist,” he says, groaning to the ceiling.

Louis doesn’t know exactly what it means that Harry thinks that, but he must be one too because this becomes the second time he regrets not kissing Harry Styles.

 

~@~

 

“What’s up with you and Harry?” Louis asks the next time Zayn actually sticks around the house for longer than five minutes.

“What do you mean?” Zayn returns as he looks through the Chinese takeout boxes that Niall’s ordered for them. It’s a bit ridiculous living in a house where none of them can cook. Niall had tried his hand at making chicken for them once but had completely forgotten to use any kind of seasoning. They stick to takeout and cereal now.

“I haven’t seen you around each other much lately,” Louis murmurs in response. “Or sucking each other’s faces off.”

Zayn smirks at the memory but just shrugs as he steals the orange chicken for himself. “Dunno. I see ‘im in class sometimes.” The ‘ _when I go_ ’ remains unsaid but Louis knows that it’s there because the only class Zayn has with Harry is his one early morning class and they both know that Zayn likes his sleep too much to bother getting out of bed half the time. “Just been busy, I guess.”

Louis takes a breath but holds it in. If he releases it right now, he might say what he’s thinking and that’s definitely not something he should do. Because he’s thinking that if Zayn doesn’t want Harry, he should let him go. So Louis can have him. And he can’t say that because Zayn is his friend and so is Harry, and Louis is just being selfish. Wanting Harry for himself, wanting to not feel like an awful person for wanting someone who’s taken, least of all his best friend’s boyfriend.

He picks up a random box and takes it with him to his room where he can breathe again. Once he’s closed the door behind himself, he walks over and sits on the edge of his bed, places the box of food on his night table, picks up his pillow, and screams into it with everything he has. When he’s gotten out most of his pent up frustration, he tosses the pillow away and picks up his food like nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

Opening the take away box, Louis bends his head to look inside and sighs. Shrimp lo mein.

Louis is allergic to shrimp. Figures. Even his supper hates him. 

He puts the box back on his bedside table and lays down on his bed, pulling his pillow back to himself, he smothers his face in it and screams for a little while longer.

 

~@~

 

“Hey, Curly,” Louis says with a sad smile as he opens the door.

“Hi, Louis,” Harry’s eyes twinkle with delight.

Louis steps back and gestures for him to enter.

Harry does. Quick glance to Louis’ lips as he passes. And then they’re in the living room together. Harry sits on the sofa first, Louis joins him, and Harry lights up.

They’ve fallen into a pattern again. Harry seems to enjoy it even though he’s only getting to spend time with Louis these days. Louis loves and hates it. He loves it in all the ways he shouldn’t and hates it _because_ he loves it so much.

They chat idly through their first joint, waiting for the high to hit them. It’s slow coming.

Louis groans in relief when he takes a hit off the third spliff Harry passes him. He can literally _feel_ his worries floating away with the smoke when he releases it. For this one tiny moment, he feels just a little bit weightless.

“Rough day?” Harry chuckles at him, taking off his ever-present snapback and tossing it on the coffee table.

“You don’t even know,” Louis says, bending forward to pick it up again, he pulls it down over his own head. It’s backwards, just like Harry wears it, and Louis turns to Harry, eyebrow raised to get his reaction as he takes another hit off the joint.

Harry grins, full and lovely. “Looks good on you,” he says tugging on the bit of Louis’ fringe that pokes out the hole where the snaps come together.

“Stop that,” Louis orders, knocking Harry’s hand away lightheartedly and passing the spliff back. It’s nice to feel light again. It’s nice to let himself.

“Would a neck rub help?” Harry asks, putting one hand on Louis’ shoulder and flexing his fingers just right to have Louis groaning again.

“Oh my god,” He gasps, turning so that Harry can get both hands on him and Harry laughs at his reaction but quickly obliges, putting the joint in the ashtray and rubbing Louis’ neck in earnest. “That’s so good.”

“How good?” Harry asks, pressing his fingers deep into Louis’ tense muscles, his breath on the back of his neck.

_Too good_ , Louis thinks, shivering at the thrill of arousal that goes through him. He can feel his cock fattening up in his jeans but Harry’s hands have melted him in place so he doesn’t move.

“How good, Lou?” Harry asks again and for some reason it reminds Louis of the first time they met, the way Harry had whispered in his ear “ _you don’t know what you’re missing_ ”. Louis desperately wants to know what he’s missing.

“Really good,” Louis breathes, tilting his head back so that it’s resting on Harry’s shoulder and Harry has no choice but to stop what he’s doing because he doesn’t have the space anymore. Instead he blinks down at Louis, eyes trailing slowly over his face and down his chest and stopping on the outline of his dick, hard and obvious in his jeans.

Harry smirks at the sight. “I knew you got just as horny as I did,” he teases, reaching around and tweaking one of Louis’ nipples through his shirt.

“ _Fuck_ , Curly,” Louis exclaims, aroused beyond words. He lifts himself off of Harry and situates himself into the opposite corner of the sofa, twisting so that he’s facing Harry now. “You can’t just do that sort of shit out of nowhere.”

Harry’s staring at him with wide, earnest eyes and seems to take Louis’ words as a sign that moving forward with… whatever they’re doing, is a possibility just as long as Harry informs him of what he’s planning. “I could help you with that,” he says, gesturing to Louis’ poor, suffocating cock, “if you want.”

“I-” Louis _wants_. He wants really fucking badly. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” his mouth betrays him. Lucky for Zayn that Louis’ mouth is still on his side when the rest of Louis’ body is revolting.

“Oh,” Harry nods his understanding slowly, slumping back into the sofa. It’s only when he’s sitting back that Louis can see Harry has a little problem too.

“You could-” He cuts himself off suddenly when Harry’s head whips back in his direction when he speaks. “I mean, there’s nothing stopping you from… you know, taking care of _yourself_.” Maybe his mouth isn’t on Zayn’s side either.

Harry’s lips twitch. “You sure?” He asks, leaning back against the sofa again, one hand resting on his zip.

“Yeah, I- why wouldn’t I be?” Louis stutters, feeling slightly breathless.

Harry unbuttons his fly and lowers his zip achingly slowly. Louis sits mesmerized, watching every movement like he has some stake in the outcome. He doesn’t realize he’s being watched as he watches, until Harry sticks a hand in his pants to wrap around his cock and Louis sort of accidentally whines in the back of his throat when Harry doesn’t pull it out right away.

Glancing up at Harry’s face to see if he noticed, he finds Harry’s eyes on him already, his gaze heavy but his lips are quirked in a teasing grin. He’s fucking taunting Louis.

Louis intentionally rolls his eyes and looks away, trying to seem uninterested in what Harry might happen to be doing with his dick in his hand. It’s already too late for the charade to be successful but Louis’ never been one to admit defeat.

A moan falls from Harry’s lips while Louis’ looking the other way and he turns back, suddenly very fucking interested as he sees the tip of Harry’s dick disappear into his fist and reappear again. Harry strokes himself slowly, like he wants it to last and Louis wonders if he fucks like that too. Slowly, deliberately.

Harry peers over at Louis, gaze dropping to his still clothed dick and then purposely back up to meet Louis’ eyes. He wants Louis to take care of himself too. And Louis suddenly can’t remember why that might be a bad idea. So he does it. He follows Harry’s lead and pulls out his cock, stroking it slowly, keeping time with the other boy. Their moans of pleasure intermingle as they watch each other. It’s a slow, maddening journey to his climax.

It’s only when Harry breathes out a “Lou” that Louis loses it, coming over his fist.

“Lou,” Harry moans again, squeezing his eyes shut as he follows after Louis.

They both sink into the cushions afterward, languishing in the high of a good orgasm until Louis gets up and goes to his room, dick in hand to clean himself off. He brings a box of tissue back to the living room for Harry, who thanks him with a lazy, sated grin.

Harry asks if Louis wants to light up again, maybe shotgun. Louis is absolutely certain that shotgunning right now would just be an excuse to start making out so he turns Harry down. Which Harry, of course, accepts with good grace. Because he’s lovely like that.

When it’s just him and Harry, it doesn’t feel like Louis’ done anything wrong. After all, he didn’t lay a finger on the other boy. But when Zayn comes home shortly after Harry leaves, pouting when he learns he’s just missed his boyfriend, Louis couldn’t possibly feel like a more horrible person.

And what’s worse, Louis still kind of regrets not kissing Harry.

Louis’ getting really sick of having all these regrets.

 

~@~

 

The next morning, Louis’ standing in the kitchen in just his pants, leaning on the counter as he eats a bowl of cereal when a low voice startles him out of his thoughts.

“Lovely view this kitchen has.”

Louis jumps, just barely managing to hold in a manly shriek as he spins to see Harry leaning against the doorjamb. His eyes flick up from Louis’ arse just slow enough for Louis to catch it.

“Where did you come from?” Louis asks because if he’s coming from Zayn’s bed, Louis is going to put an end to this _whatever_ flirtation _thing_ that’s going on between him and Harry right now. He should have put an end to it a long time ago. God, Louis is such a fucking prick. It wasn’t so long ago that Bressie was telling Louis what a good friend he was, but Louis’ not feeling like much of one lately.

Harry’s ever-present grin dents in his cheek again and Louis wishes he weren’t quite so attracted to the boy because the perma-smirk is just a little bit insufferable, especially when Louis is trying to be stern. It’s not cute in the slightest. It’s annoying. Louis is annoyed.

“Niall let me in,” Harry answers, looking around the kitchen like he’s never actually seen its contents. “Zayn’s not great at getting to his early classes on time. Or at all, if there’s not someone there to force him. So, I volunteered my services since we have class together anyway. Niall pleaded with me over text because it was cutting into his beauty sleep.”

“Right,” Louis nods because he has noticed Zayn’s sleeping habits too. “Good of you.”

Harry shrugs, “Don’t want him to flunk out.”

“ _I bet you don’t_ ,” Louis mumbles coldly into his cereal.

Harry’s eyes narrow when he hears the comment, the icy tone of Louis’ voice not lost on him. “Did I do something wrong, Louis? Because this hot-and-cold act is getting kind of old.”

Louis scoffs. “What are you talking about, hot-and-cold?”

Harry rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. Louis realizes it’s the first time Harry hasn’t worn his snapback over to the house. Because Louis still has it. “One second you’re flirting with me and the next you’re treating me like the scum of the Earth. Why can’t you just admit that you like me?”

“Because I don’t want to help you cheat on my best friend, okay?!?” Louis shouts back. “Which, I may have already done last night,” he continues in a quieter, more contemplative tone of voice. “I’m not sure. But it’s not happening again. I do like you, Harry. And I want us to be friends for Zayn’s sake but it doesn’t matter how high you get, cheating while high is still cheating.”

Harry’s mouth is open and his face is wearing a look of utter confusion. “What the fuck are you talking about, Louis?” He finally spits out. “I’m not cheating on anyone. I would never!”

“Then why do I always walk in on you making out with Zayn? And why did you get upset when you saw him with Liam at that party that time?” Louis questions, certain that Harry won’t have any acceptable answers.

“Oh my god,” Harry snorts out a laugh. “ _That’s_ what this is about?”

Louis stands there, suddenly a lot more unsure of himself. Also aware that he’s sassing Harry in only his pants. “I’m going to get dressed,” he announces rather than answering, spinning on his heel and fast-walking to his room.

“Louis,” Harry’s voice chases him through the door, followed swiftly by the rest of him. He shuts Louis’ door behind him and leans back on it so that Louis can’t throw him out.

Louis squawks, reaching out to try and push Harry out of his room regardless. “You can’t just-”

“Zayn is dating Liam,” Harry interrupts reaching out to catch Louis’ wildly flailing arms. He holds Louis’ wrists gently, delicately, like he held his face that one time they shotgunned. “That time you walked in on us in the bathroom at the party was the last time it happened. Because we both liked other people at that point. And I wasn’t upset because Zayn was with Liam, Louis. I was upset because I thought you’d just rejected me. Again.”

“I-” Louis has no idea what to say.

“ _Every time_ you’ve caught me making out with Zayn, it was just after _you’d_ rejected me. Except the first time, the day we met, that was right _before_ you rejected me.” Harry directs a pained smile at him, fond exasperation clear on his features. “You kept letting me close just to push me away again, Louis. It was so fucking frustrating but I wasn’t ready to give up on you,” he says, voice just as gentle as his hands. “Yes, I used to get out my sexual frustration with Zayn. Both because I thought you didn’t want me and-”

“Because you get horny when you’re high,” Louis finishes for him, every stupid second of Louis’ stupid stupidity coming back to mock him as all the clues fall into place. Louis is an idiot. His wrists pull out of Harry’s grip as Louis sinks down onto the edge of his bed. “And for the record, I rejected you the first time _because_ I thought there was something going on with you and Zayn. That was _your_ fault.”

“Oh my god,” Harry shakes his head before burying it in his hands. They’re both idiots. Once Harry’s come to terms with that fact, he steps forward and sinks down next to Louis, hand on his shoulder. “Do you trust me now?” He asks.

Louis nods, looking down at his knees. How could he have gotten everything so wrong?

Harry reaches out and lifts Louis’ chin with two fingers. “Then, will you _please_ let me kiss you now?”

“Please do,” Louis urges, all of his desperation to feel Harry’s lips on his own coming back to him at once. He’s been needlessly depriving himself of this for far too long.

Harry’s mouth is heaven. His lips plush and inviting as he kisses Louis chastely at first. But then his mouth falls open and Louis mirrors him, interlocking their lips, getting just a hint of Harry’s taste.

When Harry licks into his mouth, tongue delving in to slide against Louis’, Louis realizes that he tastes like coffee with little hints of honey. And then he forgets to pay attention because Harry’s hands are on his bare hips and Louis remembers, once again, that he’s not wearing all that much.

“God,” Harry breathes into his mouth, licking in deep and breaking away again, running his hands up Louis’ sides and making him shiver. “I’ve been dying to touch you.”

Louis’ been dying to be touched. He mewls with pleasure as one of Harry’s hands trails over his naked chest. “Take your shirt off,” Louis orders and Harry hurries to obey, following Louis down when he lays back on the bed, helping him scoot up until his head in resting on his pillow.

“Do you want me?” Harry asks, staring down at Louis so lovingly that Louis thinks he might want to stay like this forever. Harry’s fingers trailing over his skin, chest heavy but full.

“There was never a time I _didn’t_ want you, Curly,” Louis answers, running his fingers through Harry’s curls, glad that he finally gets to. “I just thought I couldn’t have you.”

“You can. All of me,” Harry tells him so sincerely that it’s almost overwhelming. “You can have whatever you want, Louis. I’m yours.”

Louis raises his head to meet Harry’s lips as he pulls him down by the nape of his neck for another taste of those sweet lips. When he pulls back, it’s only to whisper, “I want you inside me,” into Harry’s ear.

Harry grins down at him wickedly. “Your wish is my command.”

Harry moves faster than Louis’ ever seen him go to remove his jeans and they both hurry to shuck their pants. Louis pulls a condom and his lube from the stash in his bedside table and passes them to Harry. “Hurry,” he commands, spreading his legs wantonly and watching Harry pop open the cap on the lube and pour it over his fingers messily.

“I could,” Harry muses. “Or I could take my time…,” he circles a finger over Louis’ rim, massaging but not pressing in until Louis ready to shout _just do it already_. And then he presses in, earning another mewl from Louis. “…and blow your fucking mind,” he purrs, moving his finger in and out of Louis at an agonizing pace. It’s so good but not enough. And then there are two fingers pressing in and Louis’ hands grip Harry’s shoulders tightly as he breathes heavily with desire.

“ _Harry_ ,” Louis cries in absolute bliss as Harry fucks him slowly with his fingers.

“Yeah,” Harry says, crooking his fingers and making Louis’ whole body jolt with pleasure. “Never want to stop hearing you say my name like that.”

“ _Harry_ ,” Louis moans again when Harry adds another finger. “ _Please_.” He’s ready. He’s _so fucking ready_.

“Don’t want to hurt you,” Harry argues, still pumping his fingers inside Louis.

Louis’ fingers tighten on Harry’s shoulders. “Need you.”

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Harry asks, so much concern on his face that Louis has to kiss him again before he nods, promising Harry that he’ll be fine.

Harry pulls his fingers out of Louis and rips open the condom with his teeth, rolling it on and slicking himself up. He presses his prick to Louis’ entrance, looking up one more time to make sure Louis’ ready before he pushes in, little by little. When his hips are resting against Louis’ arse, he stops, giving Louis time to adjust as he presses kisses into his flesh. His collarbone, his adam’s apple, his chin, the corner of his lips.

“I’m ready,” Louis tells him, sliding his fingers into the hair at the nape of Harry’s neck. “I’m ready for you.”

“I’m gonna take such good care of you, Lou,” Harry promises. And Louis believes him.

Harry pulls out so that just the tip remains inside Louis and then thrust back in. He keeps his pace slow but his thrusts are punishing in the very best way, making Louis shudder with ecstasy. Every. Single. Time.

Louis comes moaning Harry’s name just the way he likes and Harry comes seconds after with a cry of “ _Lou_ ”.

Harry pulls out slowly, careful not to hurt Louis even now. He ties off the condom and tosses it in the bin next to the bed, collapsing onto Louis’ pillows when he’s done.

“I’ll be right back,” Louis promises, kissing his hair before he gets up to get them a flannel and proceeds to clean them both up. He tosses the flannel into his dirty laundry and climbs back into bed with Harry.

“Didn’t you have a class this morning?” He asks after a few minutes of companionable silence.

“Yeah,” Harry answers, grinning into the pillow he’s laying on. “Looks like Zayn isn’t the only one not going to class today.”

Louis laughs. “Weren’t _you_ supposed to wake him up for that?”

Harry sighs playfully and reaches for his phone. He sends off a message and looks back at Louis smugly. “There. Taken care of.”

“What did you do?” Louis wonders.

“Texted Niall to do it.”

Louis laughs and snuggles closer just as Harry’s phone vibrates with a text.

‘ _Cunt’_

That just makes Louis laugh harder.

Another vibration has him plucking the phone from Harry’s hand.

‘ _And don’t have sex so loud. Some of us don’t want to be scarred for life’_

Louis grins and texts Niall back.

‘ ** _Get used to it.’_**

Harry chuckles when he sees it and hugs Louis to his chest.

Louis doesn’t know about Niall, but _he_ definitely plans on getting used to this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: Delta Lambda Phi is actually a fraternity formed for gay, bisexual, transgender and progressive men.  
> Let's hear it for the boys! 
> 
>  (If you didn't just have a Footloose flashback, you're not living.)
> 
> Here's a [rebloggable fic](http://suddenclarityharry.tumblr.com/post/159262351297/kiss-the-boys-fallinglikethis-zayniam-summary) post!


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